Post-trauma

Finally, the stress of the promotional exams are over, albeit the one for oral presentation still lingers. The promotional exams was one heck of a traumatizing experience. Stress of the actual examinations aside, I've never actually studied so freaking hard in my entire life. Not even for the O levels, which was like a series of national exams. The major shock was when I found out that I actually had classmates who were at risk or retaining or expulsion. This was a new thing for me, actually having to say premature farewells to classmates who I grew to like so much. I truly feel that expulsion should be reserved for serious offences, and not just another excuse to kick students that may not have been doing so well out of the school.

Though feeling guilty to say this, I did pretty well for the exams, way better than I had expected, really. Not only did I pass all my subjects, I managed to garner a B and two Cs while I was at it. This puts me rather at ease to fully enjoy my trip to Australia at the end of the year, though having felt the effects that the lack of consistent studying can result in, I am determined to not let this repeat. Hopefully, I'll have enough self-discipline to finish going through the pile of notes and readings I'll be lugging to Australia with me.

Also,after a 4-year hiatus, I've finally had the time to resume leisure reading. Though I'm still kept rather busy, and the speed at which i chew through the books is reduced significantly, I'm finally about to revisit the joy of reading, not for literary terms, not for economic concepts, not for historical content, but just for the sake of reading. I've started on the Artemis Fowl series after Timothy's recommendation, and I intend to finish reading the book, American Gods soon after that. Hopefully I'll be able to find a good book to accompany me on my trip as well.

Meh.

This may be old, but still enjoyable nevertheless.

Mad World

Heard this song a while ago, really liked the atmosphere of the song :)

Oddly creepy, but soothing at the same time.

Mad World

Gary Jules

All around are me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrows
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very very,
Mad world, Mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
May they feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny,
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very very
Mad world, Mad world
Mad world, Mad world

Changes.

The week-long holidays came and went. Had to send off my beloved Literature teacher back to the states a few days ago, not looking forward to the teacher who is going to be teaching us though. So much to do, so little time, I was so tempted to go buy a budget flught ticket and fly off somewhere to hide in seclusion while waiting at the airport actually.

Despite the sad partings, I had a blast spending the night with Anna, Vincent and Zul, we even managed to stay awake for breakfast in town the following day lol. Not many shops were open, but still, the interaction was good.

Yeah. Not looking forward to school tomorrow. I need to escape to somewhere far, far away.

This isn't metamorphosis, is it?

Ever since entering JC, I've realized that I've been getting increasingly emotional.

I've felt like crying over really random things this year, a feeling I haven't gotten in a long long while, if I'm not wrong, something I've never experienced since the end like 10. Strange things have started the "sour" feeling in my nose recently, really random things, from seeing David Archuleta, to like just feeling the exhaustion during camp, those unsolvable math questions, and now like even classic drama sob scenes that I used to laugh at for their utter cheesiness.

Weird, I figured that the stress would toughen me up, but it looks like its actually breaking me down.

Seriously, I need to do something to build up that defense. I'll have to find a way. Maybe Final Destination.

Something just needs to be done.

Turn of events.

I am really starting to develop a liking for economics. It is so logical and commonsensical, but yet at the same time, in need of so much precise jargon to actually get you your marks. For some reason, although I've never really liked anything that has got to do with graphs, I was rather fascinated with the graphs that explained, or rather, illuminated so many of the economic concepts. The recent lectures on market dominance are really interested me. Can't wait to attend more of the lectures on market failure!

Is it me or do I sound like a total nerd?

Oh yeah, Math also got a lot more fun now with the addition of statistics. Although I'm still fumbling a little, I think I have the basics pretty well, and it seems so much easier to do that freaking differentiation and integration. Alas, I might be wrong though, since we've barely covered I'd say 10% of the statistics topics. Still, I am looking forward to doing more of Statistics.

Maybe then, just maybe, when I start to like Math again, I might start to do well it in, though I suspect my hatred for Math that has lasted for 7 years now would go away that easily.

Maybe its the AJ mood, maybe its the worry of promotional examinations, maybe its the threat of competition, but my desire to excel for my promotional examinations are stronger than ever.

Concrete Angel

Stacey, a friend of mine, recently passed me the link to this song. Little did I know, this video is actually one of the most touching I've seen in a while. Take some time to watch this video and listen for the lyrics, its pretty meaningful. This is also based on a real story of the singer's niece (apart for the angelic part, i assume). Makes it just so much more impactful.



Concrete Angel
Songwriters: Bentley, Stephanie; Crosby, Rob;

She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she's holding back
Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with the linen and lace, oh

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear but they turn out the light
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it will be too late

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel

A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel


Watching this, I recall this book I wanted to get for a while already, titled "Mummy Doesn't Love You". This is probably a great opportunity for myself to indulge in emo-ness and feel really lucky at the same time that my parents are not alcoholic and/or abusive.